Being OK!

Maybe a week or so ago, I was really struggling with where I was in my life and what I was doing with my life.  I was feeling sorry for myself, ashamed, and regretful.  I heard myself say sass comments about my situation and not value the opportunities I had in front of me. My perspective was way off and I am embarrassed of my comments now.  I would make comments of, "I have my Masters and I am making Play Dough" or "I am 26 living with a friend of mines family." It was so negative and unhealthy.

I was listening to the radio and heard a song that spoke directly to me.  The artist was singing about no what you do with you life as long as you are doing it for God then you should feel satisfied at the end of the day because you are serving God.  After hearing that song, I started to praise and thank him for what I was once complaining about.  I turned my perspective and was grateful I have a 'family' to stay with and that I am able to provide comfort to the moms of the babies I watch.  Those little ones cause my heart to smile each time I see them.  I have opportunities presented in front of me of career interviews and daily encouragement and reminders to remain patient.   Through all of this and moving back to Colorado, I need to praise God for the individuals I have here.  For my Denver Family, my friends who are like family, and the time he has given to me to transition back into living in the States.

Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord - Psalm 27:14

Rejection

I googled 'Rejection' and this image came up! Seems pretty hopeful to me!

I am not sure how many of you have applied for careers or remember the process of applying for careers but it is tough on the ego, time consuming, and a lot of waiting.  I have been in this process for about 3 months now.  I have to to tell you, it is has been full of emotions, stress, anxiety, hopeless, motivation, joy, and rejection.

Yes, rejection, such an awful word but goes hand in hand when you are applying for careers.   I have applied for 50 plus careers and I normally receive 2-4 rejection letters a week.  With that being said, I have been fortunate to be interviewing about 1 time a week.  I also feel blessed for the opportunities that have been placed in front of me and that I have only been at this for about 3 months compared to some of my classmates who are still looking for a career almost 9 months after graduation.

However, rejection has had some surprising positive outcomes.  Rejection has brought me closer to God and stronger/more persistent in my prayers.  I quickly learned through the application process, I had little to no control over this process (or really anything in my life).  The more I prayed, pleaded, cried out, and praised God, the more I felt at ease.  I need to side not: Somedays I take 4 steps towards trusting in God and other days I take about 8 steps back and think I can control all outcomes.  With any relationship, this one will take time and the very patient and loving God will continue to work with me. There is a sense of ease when my heart can truly relax knowing God's Will will be done and he has bigger plans for me then I can every imagine.  Everyday I work on this and I pray through my anxious stomach, my heartache, my joy, and give him all my concerns knowing he has my back.

You keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. - Isaiah 26:3

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:3-4