Being OK!

Maybe a week or so ago, I was really struggling with where I was in my life and what I was doing with my life.  I was feeling sorry for myself, ashamed, and regretful.  I heard myself say sass comments about my situation and not value the opportunities I had in front of me. My perspective was way off and I am embarrassed of my comments now.  I would make comments of, "I have my Masters and I am making Play Dough" or "I am 26 living with a friend of mines family." It was so negative and unhealthy.

I was listening to the radio and heard a song that spoke directly to me.  The artist was singing about no what you do with you life as long as you are doing it for God then you should feel satisfied at the end of the day because you are serving God.  After hearing that song, I started to praise and thank him for what I was once complaining about.  I turned my perspective and was grateful I have a 'family' to stay with and that I am able to provide comfort to the moms of the babies I watch.  Those little ones cause my heart to smile each time I see them.  I have opportunities presented in front of me of career interviews and daily encouragement and reminders to remain patient.   Through all of this and moving back to Colorado, I need to praise God for the individuals I have here.  For my Denver Family, my friends who are like family, and the time he has given to me to transition back into living in the States.

Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord - Psalm 27:14

Rejection

I googled 'Rejection' and this image came up! Seems pretty hopeful to me!

I am not sure how many of you have applied for careers or remember the process of applying for careers but it is tough on the ego, time consuming, and a lot of waiting.  I have been in this process for about 3 months now.  I have to to tell you, it is has been full of emotions, stress, anxiety, hopeless, motivation, joy, and rejection.

Yes, rejection, such an awful word but goes hand in hand when you are applying for careers.   I have applied for 50 plus careers and I normally receive 2-4 rejection letters a week.  With that being said, I have been fortunate to be interviewing about 1 time a week.  I also feel blessed for the opportunities that have been placed in front of me and that I have only been at this for about 3 months compared to some of my classmates who are still looking for a career almost 9 months after graduation.

However, rejection has had some surprising positive outcomes.  Rejection has brought me closer to God and stronger/more persistent in my prayers.  I quickly learned through the application process, I had little to no control over this process (or really anything in my life).  The more I prayed, pleaded, cried out, and praised God, the more I felt at ease.  I need to side not: Somedays I take 4 steps towards trusting in God and other days I take about 8 steps back and think I can control all outcomes.  With any relationship, this one will take time and the very patient and loving God will continue to work with me. There is a sense of ease when my heart can truly relax knowing God's Will will be done and he has bigger plans for me then I can every imagine.  Everyday I work on this and I pray through my anxious stomach, my heartache, my joy, and give him all my concerns knowing he has my back.

You keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. - Isaiah 26:3

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:3-4

Carrots, Eggs, or Cofee

I saw this on Facebook and thought I would share! 

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?"

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

---AUTHOR UNKNOWN — —

Same Name New Blog

                                                                                            

I know it has been a while and for most of you, you may be use to seeing pictures of the Caribbean, stories of my adventures through the Peace Corps, successes I have had and lessons I have learned. 

For now, there will be a shift in the context of my blog.  I am not sure where my blog is going but this will be my safe place to sort out events in my life, building a stronger relationship with God, and share fun life adventures going on in Colorado.  

I invite you to sit back, embrace the moments around you, and enjoy the new structure of my blog :) 

My Second Village

My last day in Dominica, which was bittersweet but I would not have ended it in another other way.  I spent a lot of time in my good friend’s village and her village became mine.  I made it a point to go up to her village to see everyone and send her well wishes.  Once again, it was nice to be greeted with smiles, hugs, and familiar faces.  My friend’s next door neighbor made us lunch and I spent the afternoon with her daughter and a friend of mine.  A sweet moment happened over lunch.  After I thanked her for the twelve time, she said, “No problem, you have treated my daughter like family!” My heart melted right then!

 While in the village we went to see the waterfall and bathe in the hot sulfur water.  That moment was breathtaking and refreshed the soul. Words cannot describe how peaceful it is to sit in a sulfur bathe with lush green around you.  One cannot create that environment.  Moments like remind me to be grateful and thankful for the experiences I have had the little island I have been able to call home. 

30 More Days!

30 Days... 30 More Activities!

17 Sex Workers have received ESL classes

14 Letters Written

11 Outreach events to sex workers

11 Blogs Entries

10 Posters printed and handed out to local business to bring awareness to eliminating violence against women and children

8 Volleyball Practices

7 ESL classes with Spanish-Speaking Women

6 Different Beaches

6 Peace Corps Volunteers completed their services

6 Visitors

6 Prison Life-Skill Sessions

5 New Friends

5 Islands Represented in those New Friends

5 Bars which outreach takes place

5 Jobs Applied for

4 Days of Creole in the Park

4 Members on the outreach team 

4 Countries Represented at Thanksgiving

4 Newspaper Article about the Outreach Event

3 Peace Corps Response Volunteers who swore-in with me 

3 Beach Days

3 Day Long Regional Training on HIV and Sexual Violence

2 Orange Events to bring awareness around the elimination of gender-based violence

3 Movies Watched at Cinema

3 Care Packages sent out

2 Meeting Regarding 16 Days of Activism

2 Letters Received

1 Graduation for my ESL ladies

1 Awarenss Activities for World’s AIDS day!

1 International Volleyball Tourney Watched

1 Flash Mob

1 Front Page Cover Story

1 New Friend Left 

1 PCRV who I share my High/Low each day

1 'Volunteer Work Form' Completed

1 Picture of myself on the Internet website for the Orange Day Event

1 New Stamp in my Passport

1 Walking Partner

1 Sleep Over with my Nephew

1 Meeting with Antigua Planned Parenthood Association

1 Grant Written

1 Zip Lining Experience

1 Opening Parade for Carnival

1 Carnival Jouvert 

1 Chair, which offers millions of moments of breathing

1 Grant Budget Updated

1 Grant Summary Updated

1 Meeting with the Men I will be doing Life Skill Training with in the prison

1 East Coast Tour

1 Meeting focused on Lyric Guidelines

1 Meeting to regarding doing therapy in the Prison

1 Workshop regarding Human Trafficking

1 Mango Fest 

1 Tropical Storm 

1 Intervention with a victim of Domestic Violence 

1 Amazing Skype date with my two best friends from graduate school

1 Submitted Grant with many corrections needed

1 Time Swimming with Sting Rays

1 Beach Birthday Party

1 Soul Refreshing Jam Session with new and old friends

1 Meeting Regarding World AIDS Day

1 Antigua Vs. USA Football Match

1 Orange Day Meeting/16 Days of Activism Meeting

1 Meeting with the Manger and Dancers of an outreach site

1 Refreshing trip to Dominica

1 Fundraising BBQ

1 More Trip to the Boiling Lake in Dominica

1 Week of reminders that I made an impact in Dominica

1 Meeting with the Country Director of the Peace Corps

1 Soul is now resting in Peace, Gone but never forgotten Uncle Tom

1 Seamoss Adventure

1 TV Panel Discussion around Gender Based Violence

1 Solo Hike on the National Trail in Dominica

1 Radio Interview for Orange Day

1 TV Interview for Orange Day

1 New Island that is feeling a little more like home each day

1 Trip to our sister island

1 Football Match to engage Men in eliminating Gender Based Violence

1 USA Election witnessed while abroad

1 Visit to the country side of Antigua

1 Thanksgiving Hosted

1 General Meeting

1 Movie Showing and Panel Discussion around Gender Based Violence

1 HIV/AIDS Mark

1 Amazing Experience