Happy First day of May!! I am really excited because Monday is a NATIONAL HOLIDAY! It is called “May Day” or “Labor Day” and it is celebrated the first day Monday of May each year. It is a governmental holiday where the town shuts down and individuals go to the beach, relax at their homes, or visit with family.
I was looking through pictures on my computer last night (I find myself doing this often) and I cam across the above picture from the “See you Soon Party.” I was thinking about the picture and how much I miss moments like that. Not the sole moment of hugging my Cousin but those kinds of Hugs. Most of you that read this are friends and family so you get it. I am craving that the most, the simply act of touching and hugging. Don't get me wrong, I am greeted weekly with children running up to me and embracing me with a “Break your Ribs” kind of hug. But they are almost “empty” hugs without that special vibe and connection I feel when I hug someone that is near and dear to me. The picture just made me smile and a little sad all at the same time. It is the embrace of the hug and the feeling of love, sadness, and connection that the picture reminds me of. I want to feel those emotions again.
I am not worried, I will feel those emotions again when I greet someone with a hug because the stronger the connections I make with individuals in Dominica, those hugs will not feel so empty and they will have the positive vibe behind them. Even in these two short months, I am feeling the hugs from current individuals not feel as empty any more. They are getting “fuller” with more connection and positive vibes behind them.
I have expressed my missing of hugs to numerous people, my WHOLE Peace Corps group knows how much I love hugging and if I ask they will embrace me with a hug. (As I am writing this I am laughing out loud and thinking to myself, I am not sure why I am breaking down a hug for the whole world to see).
The beginning experiences of my journey has reassured to me the importance human touch is in my life. It is the simply things you take for gratitude when they are always around. I want to hold a baby, make a little one laugh, I want to feel the power of hug like I use to, I would love to have that comfort again. I will always remember one of the last nights I was in the States, maybe even the last night and I was holding Austin and tickling him. He was just laughing out loud and curling up into a little ball (the way you do when you don't want any one to tickle you anymore), and I was laughing and laughing right a long with him. I hold that memory so near to my soul. Those are the moments that make me laugh and encourage me to rock it out while I am in the Peace Corps. That moments offers me hope that I will find more moments like that with more children and I need to simply embrace and ENJOY those moments in my life.
This journey is about self-discovery as well. I am here to serve other individuals and learn from them as much or more then they have learned from me. I must learn how to find that comfort in myself not from other individuals. If I am not comfortable being by myself and not having my happiness be about other individuals then I will never grow as a person. It will be a long and at time frustrating but extremely rewarding experience at the end of it all. One of my friends stated it the most “I AM my OWN BEST FRIEND”
This is me. A little random and at times. You may have to read between the lines and make it make sense to you.
Miss and Love ALL!
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