Decisions, Decisions!

I am going to type from my heart, it might be a little everywhere, it might be a little hard to follow, but I am hoping it comes full circle! So, here I go!

Decisions... OoO Decisions! They can be exciting, they can be challenging, they can be frusturating! sometimes we make the wrong decisions that turn right and other times... OoO Mine! What a mess it becomes!

Now, don't get me wrong! I am grateful I have the RIGHT/FREEDOM to make decisions. The simply ones of what I would like to wear or eat for lunch. When you have decisions to make you have choices, and with choices brings a sense of independence. I am grateful I was born in the United States of America, home of the free and the brave bc without that I may not be here typing to all of you 1200 miles away. I would not be able to wear my short pants with a tank top, be 24 and not married (even choice my own husband). I am able EVERYDAY to make decisions of what I want to believe, where I want to worship, and voice my opipion (quietly or loudly) about the latest breaking news! Because of the choices and decisions women and men made before I was even born, before I was even thought of, I am able to make these tough decisions, these deciisons that feel as though they will impact my WHOLE path of life, if I choice to go left instead of right my life will take a path that is not right for me!

Well, if that is the case then I am screwed! Royally screwed, to more exact because I have no sense of direction, I get my rights and left messed up, I drive I-95 when I should be on I-96 and lets not even begin taking about east and west! If there is not a land mark I will miss the turn and if I miss the turn I won't realize for hours! (If you think I am kidding ask my father or my mother- they will tell you!)

But the above paragraph makes me smile! That is my life on the road and the real world! I take these leaps of faith, figure it out a long the way. I go on a vibe and hope for the best! I love my daily 'To-Do' list (Honesty, I live for that list!) but if some one were to ask me where I thought I would be in 5 years, panic would come across my face! I think about it, I have goals and I have dreams, I want to live in the moment, I don't want to miss a beat bc I was worried about the future! Then what if something better comes my way, something I never thought of comes my way, that I will LOVE more then I would of loved my first 'Plan of Attack!'

I do not want to miss a moment or an opportunity! But do I! Do I miss those opportunities because I said Yes to this and No to that! Because I did not fill that out, but I filled that out! On the map of life I joined the Peace Corps instead of getting a job or going to Graduate School right away! I became a Social Worker instead of a Teacher! What if I am messing with the 'Plan!' What if I picked wrong! I could drive myself crazy thinking about all of that... but it crosses my mind! I do not want it to appear that I regret ANYTHING, I have choices in my life, but with all these opportunities, Wi PaPa, would life be 'easier' if I did not have them! I would live a simply content life, with family as my center!

You know my FIVE year goal! It is to find this happy and joyful balance of opportunities and simply content life, with family being my center!

Where does this all come from! In 8 months, my journey is 'over' (or has it just begun!) with the Peace Corps! I must make my next move, I must make decisions, I must choose a path! It is frighten, it is fantastic, it is overwhelming, and it is relaxing!

As I get overwhelmed, as I lay my head down at night, I say a very simply prayer: 'God, Guide Me, if I am not suppose to do this or if I am, sending flashing lights, horns, and noise makers to ensure my stubbornness does not get in the way and I hear you!"